Jitendra Jain

Life sucks!
Why?
When things don’t happen the way we want it sucks.
How?
Say I am most powerful person on earth, to decide what happens, i want to eat pizza and my doctor would say not allowed. Damn!
Why can I eat pizza. Feels Helpless.
Coz we lack courage to say no to doctor. We are afraid to say I don’t care. The reason to say no to doctor may be whatever. But it irritates you from core.
Then mood is spoiled. You emit so much negative energy.
When you inhale and exhale the air is hot! Damn hot!
The body temperature rises.
Everyone around you is affected, the anger inside has to be released. The person who work for you or agree with you get hit first for no fault of theirs.
You crib and say Life sucks!

This post is expression of my anger towards things which i can control but dont control and also towards stupid people who are really stupid and ignorant and nearby me.

Everyday i think about it, everyday i have a excuse. a different one most of times to not to do it. When is it going to happen. God knows. Everyone who is reading this blog knows how fat i m getting day by day. One of my friends  called me up and told me that he was amazed to see my recent pics. He said “aise to to fat jayega”.

Well the truth is truth. and i have to start it soon.

Just dicipline, strong will and determination to do it is required.

The things i should do is.

• Stop Watching Tv.
• Control over diet, how i did it last year.
• Self Motivation
• Do it for myself and no one else. Then only it works.
• Reward myself with good results.
• Go back to dietitian.
• Tell my sister not to experiment her dishes on me.
• Ask my sister for advice, she lost 10Kg without hitting a gym, just diet control.
• Sleep Early.
• Do not work on computer when at home.
• Start Walking
• Start Swimming.
• Start kick boxing
• And many more…

I know it all, i am master in knowing it all and not doing it.  I have tried it but not tried hard enough. Every month I wat for 1st to come and I will start but the 1st of month goes by and its to next month. Even trying it from mondays doesnt work  and then next week goes by.

It should be timeless. and started right away.

Sleeping early will help me tremendously. Coz once i wake up early, i can go to swimming, (that day i will have a bath everyday at least). And early to office means early to home. and a evening walk. Watching less of movies.

I know its matter of just 3 months to get where we want. But it looks so hard. It should be done step by step. One step everyday. I have to do it.

Stranger : anyone who does not belong in the environment in which they are found.

I see strangers all around, in huge numbers, people who know me by face, name or origin but they dont know me inside out. What I want, what i think, how i want my life to be.  Those are not mirror images.  Those are not like me. I dont like them much, being with them or spending time with them.

This city Mumbai, is amazing but i dont like it as much as i like my home town. I dont recognise things over here, dont relate to them,  I feel there are better things in my home town like people whom i know, more people who understand me over there, less relatives to bugg me, more open space, less pollution, more independence to move my bike around, a water body aka lake close to my home, my childhood memories. over there, people who appreciate what I do, what I am, my knowledge, more interaction over there, samosa and kachori over in my home town is much better then in over here. Plus Time for everything. In mumbai i just find myself short of time, nothing to do much.

I want to move there and not be a stanger to myself or others. I want familiar faces to be seen, talked to enjoyed which i think either possible by moving to my home town. or getting over  myself and adjusting to this stuff.

Lets see what happens.. in coming days.

Today is my sisters bday. She is going to be 18 years old.

Suggest a gift for her?

Have you seen mirror! Saw your self in over there.

You want that person inside mirror to be perfect, you talk  to that person sometimes if you are like me, admire it, when your double chin shows up you shout at that person.

But now see around you, there are mirrors. Cant see let me help you finding one, two, rather all of them.

Who is your best friend, does he have lots of common with you, same movies, same food, something very good matches,

what about your girl friend, something common matches,

what about you collegues you hang out with, something is common, like bad smoking habits..

What about school friends, pals, teachers

What about your enemies, he hates you so do u, can u believe he loving you and you hating him.. no.. hard to believe.

So all these are mini mirrors around you, partial mirrors.

I want my friends to be like me, family to be like me and every one around like me, my mirrors. Its most pleasing.

When my friends say i dont call them and complain, its coz they want me to be their mirrors, they like taking to me, but sometimes i dont , reason what so ever but i dont. so they dont like me.. The mirror is fogged. Cant see clearly.

When your girl friend complains why didnt you call, coz she wanted to talk to you, or complains why you dont express the love, she does you dont, mirror fogged.

when your wife loves shopping and you hate it, she doesnt like it, she thinks you dont love her, He he, Mirror fogged again, unclear.

When your family wants you around 365 days and you want to be alone, they wont uderstand it,

There are such thousands of fogged mirrors around us.

What we need to do is stop expecting for people to be like us and accept them like they are. If they dont want what you want them to be, let them what they want to be. This will make everyone happy.

Focus is the key to success.

As birds eye was to arjun. He could not see anything else.

Few things to do in coming four months

1. Loose weight :  In next 4 months loose 20kg.
2. Upload All pending websites which are to be uploaded
3. Make 4 big sites. Work already in process
4. Find a a purpose of life.
5. Keep family happy by spending more time, giving them what they want.
6. Watching 4 movies with family
7. Going out for dinner with family to good restaurants
8. Get a car.
9. Buy a camera
10. Make this list come true as possible.

Its a sweaty night. Electricity is testing my patience. Everyone wants to me to take a bath after all its a long long time since i have done so.
To beat my sleep problems my laptop is with me. Fighting hard to stay long awake with me. It has one battery problem, cant stay awake for more then two hours. Then it beeps. Shows Tantrums. But its the best buddy I have now. The electricty came and its 2:10 am in night.
The peopel far away are playing some religious songs loudly and its really disturbing. Why do some people have to do so, play songs so loudly in middle of night. Man even gods are sleeping at this point of hour and so are humans and animals, why on the earth you have to do this.
A police jeep siren beems like anything. I rush to pleed to get it down. Its in another lane. In dark the things sound so near.
I find police station number 220005 and cal and complain at 2:18 am. Do they have caller identification.Will they take my std Problem seriosly.

And i am waiting and waiting. Waitign is like eternity. Seconds are years.
At 2:26 am the good happens music stops. The police van has come and its there. Thank god. Police is there and it works.

I am glad and over exited over my achievement. Asking for help is big thing. Police is not that bad.But people are

its 2:35 and in just 9 mins the music has started again. What to do I dont get it. The volume is considerably low but i want pin drop silence, Thats why i roam without my slippers beacuse they make noise.

Oh god! should i call the police again or do what.

The music seems to have stopped again, did someone complain.

But i love this place.

Oh it started again but at a lower voice, the changed the song to another devotional song. Yeah i got one website on devotional songs too.

Mind wanders in night at speed of sound not light. The electicity has gone again. What in the night is happening. I hear voices, these voices are from within. Good voices. Bad voices, miffeled voices.

Laptop battery is 12%. It will be there for another 10 mins.  Which is long enough for me to go to my room.

Should i call them again. It rained, the floors are still wet outside, the peacocks doing meooooowwww. I think its time for me to take a bath tommrow and pack my stuff and leave for mumbai.

A unique idea has struck me in past 5 mins.

I should give away my mobile phone. I am tired of it. Dont ask why? All common reasons.

1. Mobile is for my comfort, not peoples comfort.

2. People wake me up when i m sleeping.

3. When i am watching movies I get calls.

4. I get calls from people i dont want to.

5. There is no screening of calls.

6. All calls are urgent when called on mobile phones.

So What to do.

I have landline numbers, call me there, If i pick up good, else someone will pick the phone and pass the message to me. If its urgent i will call back. There is mail, instant messaging and other communication methods to call.

Or I keep a secret phone, if i carry that phone people will ask for that number hard to say no.

I think I should try this phase for say 1-3-6-12 months and see what are benifits and what are side effects of not keeping a mobile phone.

What say. Need your feedback.

When we were kids and we used to go to our native place in Rajasthan. It was amazing. Every day we used to wait, for a man in afternoon to come. A Long 6 feet man with chicken pox scars on his face. He was not scary at all, Infact Kids simply loved him. Kids waited for him whole day and whole night. He used to make every kid in village happy. Damn Happy…

A big man with moustache used to come on his cycle, kids running around and making huge noises. I was front runner, eager for him to stop. He had a big bhonpu, a air operated horn tied on left of his cycle handle.  A big person with no expression on his face.  He had something with him which made us happy. Damn Happy…

He rode his cycle whole day I guess and covered at least 10 villages in a day came in summer only, two bags attached to both sides of his cycle and a big colored wooden box with small opening on top. Around four sides were lines written beautiful lines written in hindi, Since we were learning to read, we read them everday and those magical lines made us happy. Damn Happy…

He was our Kulfi Wala, The Candy Man, he brought kulfi or we said it Bhate ki Icecream (means stone like icecream),  We used to run after him waiting for him to stop, imagine 20 small children running without slippers in hot summer after him, just for one small icecream, making lots of noise. Hooooooooo, hooooooooooo. Childhood  was amazing.  It was when we were happy. Damn Happy…

The points written on his magical box were as I can recall

• Ek Bhaat Khoge to baar baar khaoge (You Just can’t eat it once.)
• Lajawaab (Delicious)
• Khusboodaar (Every candy has its own smell, orange, black, red)
• Khas (Special)
• Behtreen (The best)
• Mazedaar (Tasty)
• Anokhi (unique)
• Khati Meethi (sweet and sour)

Can’t Recall many points, but when we read all these we knew we were going to be happy, damn happy…

We used to do lobbying since morning in front of my great grandmother who was 85 years old then to give us 25 paise, or used to ask my mom for money, asking dad was toughest part, he would say that it’s not good to eat these, who cared, the aim was 2 get 25 paise so that we could get the money. If some day the misson to get money failed, the kulfi wala was eager to do barter in terms of 1 cup of wheet or 2 cups of maize, which we had in plenty in store room. They two white linen bags on each side of his cycle were used for grains. Anywhich ways we were happy. Damn Happy…

He used to stop in chowk of the village, request kids to stay in queue and come one by one. He has all sizes of candy’s he just put his hand and took whatever it came. He took money after giving it and his pocket was full of change, the sound of coins was very pleasing.  I doubt his pockets were made of leather. No cloth could carry that much change.  He gave candy to all kids and we could see people behind the line waiting. The one who got were happy. Damn Happy

The problem with ice candy is that it melts the moment it comes out of that box. So the rule was to lick it from bottom and go to top and do it again. And it melts in your mouth slowly. If you are late the drops trickle down your hands leaving the strong orange or red color. If you bite it the ice in your mouth makes your teeth go numb. So to eat is a art. I was a born learner, I learned the tricks and everytime I ate it I was happy. Damn Happy.

Sometimes  we used to get for our mom or grandmother, I doubt why they didn’t like it much or they must have liked in their childhood or my dad must have run like this behind him screaming and letting whole village know that the man of happiness has come. For two months till we had our vacation he came every day. For two months we were happy. Damn Happy.

Recently I went to my village and it was hot summer afternoon. I was sitting on chowk, the day just passed, i saw no children running, no ho halla, just silence, then i recalled the kulfi wala, a senior person told me he had died several years back due to some disease and since then there was no other kulfi wala.  I was just stunned. I knew now in my village there would child would we happy as we were happy. Damn Happy

Now we have grown up, we earn money in tons, have all facilities, eat sizzling brownies in big restaurants, spend money on Naturals like idiots, eat two three scoops or take family packs at home to be stuffed in three door refrigerators, but are we happy. A bit happy?

Note : Today Again I was lucky to get the Candy, I thought It would be costly by now, but it still costs 1Rs. Ate it with my eyes closed with the same trick learned in childhood and relished child hood days.

This doesnt get better then this..

Just 5 mins made my mind and booked the ticket to nirvana aka my home town aka a place near udaipur.. called kankroli..

Now every minute seems like ages..

Mom is running here and there and packing my stuff and i m so faltu that i m bloggin at this point of hr.

1.5 hrs left..

I have broken mental barieers which i should have done long before..

Well Never to late..

I always feel so happy when my relatives are not there… Now for few days.. Only friends and masti. and lots of awara gardi on my bike..

Will be doing lots of weird stuff… Like no food for few days.. Lying in one room for 2 days watching movies..
eating watermelons only..and coming late at home..watching mithun movies or any movie.. in theatre with friends.

Lots of bak bak….
and fun….

And listen to this. today online met Sarish Jain my classmate, the phodu in studies, what a guy he is.. man..
Superb.
The topper through out.
I couldnot get through IIT, he did it in one go got 400 rank exact..
He is into Apple now.. Yeah you heard it right the big Apple, the ipod, iphone and what not…
We are proud of you.. We knew you woudd scale heights but this is just the sky.. we can dream of..
Hats of to a guy who did schooling from Kankroli and is working in apple..

Will try to blog from there, taking my laptop..

Take care.