Jitendra Jain

I am getting married!

When you reads this…
Generates curiosity na…
How come he is getting married now…
Well actually…
I am sorry…
I am not…
As for now..
No…
No…
I said No…

Now a days I feel strange, people around me, my relatives, partners, friends, even kachre wala, pan wala, wada pav wala, all are curios when am i getting married…

What the hell…

I feel bored… People say Get Married…
I feel tense… People say Get Married…
I feel alone… People say Get Married…
I feel crowded… People say Get Married…
I feel ill… People say Get Married…
I feel happy… People say Get Married…
I want to travel across… People say Get Married…
I want to be in my house… People say Get Married…
I want to have fun… People say Get Married…

Come on people grow up, is marriage solution for all problems, no…

I will get married that too soon, have promised so many people that 2009 is the date…

My mom doesn’t feel well, first thing people want me is to get married…

This is 24/7, people around me are chanting…

Few of my friends constantly ask me, when I am getting married, they want to feast upon the good food… Comeon stop drooling…

Few of my customers at shop say, when are we going to eat ladoos, my god…

Everyone is asking same questions in one or the other way…

They are also right in their own way, they know i am aging. I wish I was a website or wine, both gain value when they age… Hehe. Jokes apart.

I wish to give you all some good news in 2009, this is what makes me write this post. Otherwise its going 2 be late. Haha.

Cant Stop Lauging.

Next time i will post some good news about my marriage.

The post of my blog will be titled.

I am getting married

Note: All you married guys drop me a line here in comment box so I can get some courage from you and all those you who are unmarried, support me in my cause.

After attending my cousin sisters marriage, I told my brother to come with me in flight, he was very keen on coming by bus and wanted to save money. So after convincing him and booking his ticket, there was another problem how to go to airport which is 80kms far away from my pkace. I told him I am booking a Cab, he said he will come by bus. So two brothers going to airport to catch same flight in two different things.

I knew if I take a cab he will come with me for two reasons, one the fare gets shared and other its easy to reach rather then travelling in TIN KA Dabba aka bus.

So we took the cab reached airport a hour before our flights departure, and What i see is flight is late by an hour. So we roamed around and finally checked in, what we see inside is lots of people waiting for the flight to land. Finally the flight landed and it goes back to Mumbai. Suddenly we saw a lot of people coming down but kingfisher guys were carrying a huge umbrella and escorting one person and as the person came nearer I saw it was our great nasal singer “Himesh Reshmiya”. There was huge charm and aura and I was star struck.

Then there was a Indian army chopper willing to take off. So we thought how would it fly. Its a treat to watch a chopper flying. Its more personal and you can feel the vibrations when you are in it.

When things have to go wrong they go wrong. It was announced that due to technical difficulties flight would be delayed and people started shouting.

The airport guys came with Tea Cups, Imagine 45 degrees cecius and guys coming with tea, 30 odd people rushed towards tea, I knew they were marwadis from my area. we unchecked ourselves and came out.

Looking for options we were told either get a cash back or wait.

I salute people from my area. Read carefully Now.

A guy brahmin by caste started shouting that he had meeting in mumbai and was very hungry. The sardarji from kingfisher knew so he told people to take sandwiches free of cost, again 30 odd people were there,
A sandwich worth 10 bucks is 50 bucks at airport. So everyone was rushing, my brother took my boarding pass and got me a sandwich. After eating i have seen people littering around. Same happened.

You can satify hungry people but not greedy people, the person came with another trick, he went to sardarji and stared shouting he eats 15 rotis at home. so sardarji was forced to announce another sandwich or noodles for everyone. Hurray again fun.

Then these 4 guys started discussing that they want to take their money back and started calling bus service. Hehe after eating airlines Namakm it was very hard for me to do that. So i decided to stay and go by flight.

Finally everyone came by flight only with another round of snacks in flight. I wonder how can we eat so much when its free otherwise cant. Is it our natural ability.

The sardardji was very smart, he hardly gave stuff worth one ticket and made everyone happy. Even if 5 ticktets were cancelled he would suffer loss. but at expense of one ticket he was able to make everyone glad and sit quietly.

Food is something that can do wonders, specially on me, so next time when we meet we will have treat.

Note: Next time when you are coming from Udaipur to Mumbai, and you see fares are high, dont blame marwadis for it. Its coz we are hungry.

This is not new now! I avoid getting myself shot by a camera, Recently in my cousin sisters wedding, I had less then five pics clicked. Why is it i hate my pics! Lets find out Why is it so.

Q) Do I hate all my pics?
A) No, I like my childhood pics.

Question Answer is boring format.

I think i don’t look good in my pics. I look bad when compared to my Class XII weight. But my college pics were also good. The problem stared after I came to Mumbai, No but i like those pics as well, Its after I started my work and the sitting job and I gained and gained weight around 20kg. Oh God! when will i loose weight again. The face started to swell up, the fat on your face, under your chin makes you look bad.

I should take inspiration from my sister, once I told her she had double chin and she was like what are u saying man!. She started dieting (girls love it, not all) and she lost weight which was not required and now there is not even single chin visible. This is called proper loosing weight. She didn’t cut her calories or something she became more disciplined in eating.

Thats the way, Discipline is nothing for me because it means rules and I hate rules. All stupid thinking of mine. I need to get more diciplined that way I can get more photo frames in my house with my photos in it. F&#k I dont even have a family photo of my mom and my sister. Attitude problems I have.
How lazy can i get, i wish there were Guinees or Limca Book for Records of Laziness to be won, i would be a contender for sure if not winner. I know a couple of friends of mine who would complete.

Reminds me of Manglesh Jain my engineering college friend who was expert in Going to Marriages Uninvited (This is called going to fatte), he bought a new Sweater every season just for marriage parties and used to go to marriage parties to eat good food everyday. He never gained weight. Now poor chap himself is getting married. Over heard the rumor that he has ordered for 500 extra plates of food for uninvited people. Fatte’s people will come and come in loads filled with trucks. Good luck manglesh.

Udpate : Mangesh Told me “fatte me jaana yaad hai… tu bhi aata tha be”, Yes I agree I went once to fatte but then was so fattu that could even eat, we were six guys manglesh being the leader, Since that day i never went to fatte.

Miss U Manglesh and all other friends, You guys rock.

One of my friends is not doing well. I wish my friend a speedy recovery. Then i came to know my school teachers mom is not well, i wish her a fast recovery as well.

Get Well Soon. Everyone who is not keeping well.

I will pray for you.

I was looking for few free digital watermarking php scripts for images, First I thought I will use transparent watermark and use some image library like Imagemagick, Also one can use Image or text watermark. Use any of these free watermark tutorial for images.

Simple Steps to follow
Open Image > Watermark > Edited Image > Save

Good Tutorials

http://www.phpjabbers.com/put-watermark-on-images-using-php-php20.html
http://www.devshed.com/c/a/PHP/Dynamic-Watermarking-with-PHP/
http://www.sitepoint.com/article/watermark-images-php/
http://www.tutorial5.com/content/view/129/52/

Google Makes April Fool
Google 3d Chrome. Found it very funny
http://www.google.com/intl/en/landing/chrome/cadie/

Also See Opera’s April Fool Message at

http://labs.opera.com/news/2009/04/01/

Face Gestures Quite Interesting and funny, I think they are beating google this time in April Fools Message.

Amazon EC2 and S3 are deadly combination using technology called Cloud Computing and replacement for traditional dedicated servers. IT is good for Dynamic Rightscaling, Load Balancing, Supports Static IP addresses. Once can create Instances of Servers like linux, Ubuntu and Windows with Interface for Management

I am planning to use Amazon Ec2 and Amazon S3 services for launch of my upcoming website.
Found some Good links for starters.

1 . Amazon Ec2 Startup Guide
2. Another Amazon Ec2 Startup Guide
3. Systemetic Guide for Amazon EC2 (Over Ten Articles)

Let me know if you know another good Amazon EC2 Guides for beginners.

Today Again! The day has come. The day I wait for everyyear. Its your Birthday.

A small Poem on ur bday.

1. We will see.

2. There are rules which need to be followed.

3. Lets be practical

4. I have high expectations from you.

5. How much do u earn?

6. Do you repair computers/laptops?

7. Why didnt you persue your career in Mechanical Engg.?

8. What exactly you do?

9. You are dumb Stupid idiot dumbo!!

10. When are you getting married?