Why does heart sink, when i expect the unexpected.

Why does my face glows, when i dont expect the expected,

Why does i think all the time about you, when i should be thinking all the time about myself,

Why do i see no bad in you, when i should be seeing the truth,

Why dont i listen to my mom, when i should be listening to her.

Why do i use my heart, when i should be using my super brain,

Why do i wake everday, when i should be sleeping,

Why do i end up same song everday, when I should be listening to all songs in my ipod.

Why do  i watch same movie again and again, when i should be watching billion movies listed on IMDB,’

Why do i go to same restaurant and order same stuff, when menu has zillion items,

Why do i wear same shirt and jeans again and again, when my wardrobe is running out of space,

Why do i drink same coffee at CCD, where i should be trying new stuff,

Why do  few friends matter more, when there are so many,

Why do one person gets so importance, when all are good with me,

Why do i get upset with my sister often, when i should be giving her treat for supporting me,

Why do I wake up late nights, when i know its good to get up,

why do i skip difficult part again and again, when its helps me best,

why do i eat sabji i like least, and people think i liked it most an they serve me more.

Why do i eat that extra roti, cake, when  i know skipping is what matters most.

Why why why

Lot of people ask me, why I am not so regular while blogging, updating my blog.

Well here I am.

A trip to Kerala, Indore, And Bhutan.

Kerala was a very good business trip. Indore also work cum plesure and Bhutan Pure fun.

Also have turned a year older on June 13. I thank everyone for their wishes.

The best part about past three months is  i have been happy, a lot happier then usual. Travel Helps, and happiness is a place. I plan to travel a lot in coming months, Places like Andaman, Lakswadeep, Mount everst base camp, leh, and himachal are on the list.  I plan to go asap there. A small trip to konark can never be ruled out . Love that place.

Few things i have noted is

1. You dont need loads of money to stay happy.

2. Happiness is a also a count of number of good people you know and interact with.

3.  You need  to go out and do stuff that you want to do, just thinking wont help.

4. Always stay postive. Never think negative, this is also a good change in me, i have started think positively from always negative approach to always (not always..) postive approach to life.

5. Do what you like to do.

6. Learn to say no to things you dont like. Dont worry too much about consequences.

7. A lot of good people can get insecure and get irritated by small things which should bother them least.

8. Few people whom you think you can count on, double check them.

9. Keep things clear in your mind and with everyone. Need to work on this.

10. Always keep exit plans always ready.

11. There is a pure joy in giving, give as much as you can give, alteast make people smile, do a jig, give money, give small treats, dont miss a single chance to be happy.

12. Belive in stranger at times. I met so many good people in Bhutan, that i cant them on fingers, all of the, good people.  Including a sister dolly.

13.  Always watch your back, people might be staring at you

14. Click lot of pics, specially your own,  you might look worse after few years.

15. Go on long trips sometimes.

16. Buy a ipod, listen to good music.

17. No impulse buying.

18. When in rome do as romans do.

19. Call your loved ones, dear ones, friends regularly. keep a check on them.

20. Give surprises as everyone likes surprises.

21. To be happy you have to make others happy. which is difficult.

22. Talk to your mom. sit with her and talk to her for hour or two. Not about serials that you hate most.

23 . Develop taste for things that you dont like. Like mava kachori, it took me two years to develop taste for it.

24. Dont think too much just do it.

25.  write Regularly and do spell check.

I always think that i am important in few people’s life, but it matters most when they think same about me. That i am important in their life.

Is it Ego which hurts me most, or me showing signs of humanness.

Why do i want someone to thank me if i help someone. Why do i feel bad if someone doesn’t even mention me in his thoughts when i feel I have helped them.

This is same issue my dad suffered from. Probably I consider this to be the main reason of his death. The expectations from people whom you stand for. When those people let you down it hurts where it should hurt most.

I need to learn, not to expect

???? ?? ????? ??? ??? -  as they say it.

Hard to do. Hard to not to be human. Hard to be honest. Hard to be a good Man.

Knowing the issue even hurts more when i cant do anything about it

Initially it was, going to rajasthan asap and spending as much time there as much possible. I remember people asking ” Gaon Ja raha hain kya”. Almost everyone in mumbai has a Gaon, where he has come from. Lots of people go there every summer, then there was no train reservations, or mineral water or other amenities, it was fun going to rajasthan.  I am glad my dad took us there every year. Else how would i have seen my great great grandmother, her affection for us.  Met all my cousin sisters, strolled around.

Then  i remember  during my school days in rajasthan, the small fridge in our house, stealing of mangoes, the rubber slippers which I used to forget often here and there, sleeping in day time, comic books, vacations.

Then during my X, i remember, my grandpa realizing, i was big enough to learn business secrets, hence commissioned to my dads uncles shop to learn to learn the nitty-gritty of business. It was also nice time, Lots of fun.

Duding XI, i found my self studying for XII, watching cable Tv, Thinking about someone all the time, spending time with friends.

After XII, going to Kota in super heat with 5 friends, Amit, Manish, bheru and khush kumar. Kota was special, we had amazing fun there. lots of movies. Did Everything apart from studies. What else could have one asked for. I remember spending one summer @48 degrees C and no fan.

Then new summers during my college time was another funny period. Super heat of jodhpur made us strong. The houses are made of stone and during night they emit heat. No matter what you do, one is being roasted and consumed.

After that a few summers went by just like that, didnt even know it was summer apart from just talking “Kya Garmi Hain”

2 years back was also nice when we went to shimala, kullu, chail, manali, amritsar, waga, jaipur.

Last year was a change. I decided to enjoy summer like we did before. Mom went to rajasthan and left her kitchen to my custody. It became damn cool. Cooking own meals, Mangoes. TV was super fun. Mango party to friends is also remembered by all.

This 2011 Summer will be much much better i Am sure of. The max fun that we can have. In office as well Outside. Hope everyone has a great summer.  A visit to mango orchad and 2-3 short trips and a long one.

What about you, do you remember any of your summers.

There were many aspects of being men, earn livelihood, become famous, be more social, contribute to family, society, country.

As the final year of college came, a fear set in me. All easy life that I have lived is about to go. There will be no more freedom, no more pocket money, no more free life,  and worst of all, the friends which I had made for lifetime will go. We will communicate on mail, phone or via other means, but hardly any physical means will be  there.

Being from business family I had many options, do a job or join family business or do further studies.

I knew how to earn money, as its in my blood, how to earn.  In my final years of college,  I was earning enough to sustain myself, have my pocket money, watch as many movies I liked etc. But the feeling of loosing freedom was scary. I knew the day I came home, all this would be gone.

After exams I decided to stay in hostel, till results came. Another month of time with friends, watching movies, all friends had gone, one by one, I could see them going their to their homes, bidding farewell to each of friends, I knew I am not going to meet most of them in my life.

It was tough moment for me. Finally results came, I stayed in hosted even after results, and then after a month left for Mumbai.  But what I couldn’t leave behind was my college days. I am still a college kid, who pretends to be in college, does what he likes to do, ride bikes (may be that’s why I don’t have a car), watches 2-3 movies in night, or I am doing silly stuff that we did in college,  Still preferring my  jeans to anything, still have clothes problem that I had in college.

I think its time to move on. Accept that I am in this world and prove what we were meant to do.

strongBe a Man./strong

Note:  After college, I have met many friends, and it was amazing meeting all of you, the love, admiration I have got from them is amazing, and I love them.  But college was best.

When I sleep 8 hours, I think oh what a day, I slept 8 hrs. I feel so good.

8 hours seem like super luxury to me where as 4 and half hours seems like misery. The luxury vs misery games is always there. Where as sleeping is in my hands, but all stupid reasons like watching movies, surfing internet, catching up with friends, rechecking mail 1000th time, checking how much money I have earned can wait for next day.

Also sleeping late means, waking up late, means catching up with whole day. Doing last minute things.
I have also noticed that the day I wake up early, my whole work is done quickly. Watching SunRise, gives me enough energy to feel the day.

What pains most is knowing what is wrong and doing nothing about it.

This is new target of life, wake up early, get the life back.

What is 1/4 mark.

The school life was fun. The papers were not. There were lots of school tests and other tests.

There was one english paper, which i thought i was good at. But there was one big issue. I never got full marks in that subject. Even big essays we never got marks in

full integers. There was always a half or 1/4 mark deduction. At that poing of time it was a big injustice. Everytime I got 1/4 mark less i would make promise to

myself that i would make it better next time. No matter what happens i will score better next time.

Every 1/4 marks that i had to strugle, made me realise that i could do better then what i had done this time,aslo made me look for perfection.  Told be never to be

satisfied with what i had done and keep looking for better.

The constant fight for that 1/4 mark between me and my school teacher. It was hard to get that 1/4 mark. Everytime I was pained that i had done so nicely and that

deserved that extra 1/4 mark.

The think everytime i lost 1/4th mark. I gained in personal life. The 7 3/4, the 8 3/4.

Today when i laugh at my strugle for that 1/4the mark in school life. I feel good that 1/4 mark was cut. I attribute my sucess to every mark cut and the person who

helped us to become what we are. Mam Prerna Jain.

Mam. Thanks for being there for me.

The best person and woman i know.

I am having good time in kankroli.

hope this continues.

Advantages:

• You get more time to work.
• Clearing mails is easy.
• Less distraction
• Good mood.
• Can hear music that we want to hear.
• No one to chat around
• Can do blog
• Can do pushups in office when no one is watching.

Disadvantages:

• Getting up early is pain.
• No one in office. If you are scared to be alone, this is not for you.
• No essential services in office like morning tea etc.
• No prior cleaning
• Work finishes fast sometimes. Don’t know what to do next.
• Checking Facebook again and again.
• Checking mail again and again.

What do you think I am whole day free! Another Slap

What do I tell them that what I am doing! Another tight Slap.

Even Gandhiji could bear two slaps. What about the third one. He didn’t tell us what to do when people slaps you and keeps on repeating.

Learn the way where you get three or more slaps. Slaps on your expectations.

Life treats us like this only. I remember I have slapped so many people like this and many other wrong ways.

I hope this year I get less slaps and I slap no one. Lol.